Tripping through life

This weeks devotion touches on a universal quandary - being yourself!

This has been one of my hardest life lessons.  To be your authentic self is hard when the flaws seem so obvious. The silly thing is most people don’t notice yours – they are too busy focussed on their own.

Growing up I had knobbly knees and was as uncoordinated as they come.  I was painfully shy as a child & tried my hardest to fit in at school – but when I started to get publicly bullied by a teacher I lost a lot of confidence.  To this day I despise name calling!

I had (and still have) no sense of direction and often trip over my feet!  I have walked into so many walls (& doors!!) it’s not funny – bumped my head a thousand times, fallen out of a ski lift, fallen down public stairways and given myself concussion at the doctors surgery where I worked (20 years ago – obviously not now!).  I have walked into a plant stand outside Woolies & cut my head open - not to mention setting off alarms in many public places (you know - Aldi, Westfield etc) 

I could go on – but you get the picture – VERY accident prone!

And while battling this “condition” throughout my life I then battled the comparison trap – I would watch someone else who appeared perfect who NEVER did or appeared to say anything embarrassing (certainly never tripping over or walking into doors) and longed to be more like them.

I longed to be more normal – more together & sophisticated… whatever that was.

The pastors wife at a church I used to go to had the most beautiful style and wore stilettos.  I used to gaze at her gliding up the stairs to the church foyer on a Sunday morning wishing I could walk with such ease.  I on the other hand resembled a circus act trying to stay upright wearing anything higher than clogs – the trauma, & the blisters, were just not worth it!

The worst times were when something humiliating happened I would beat myself up for days and vow never to let that to happen again.  I would go to great lengths to avoid a similar situation instead of embracing the moment and accept the fact that this is just a part of life.  The world will still turn & the only person dwelling on that moment was me.

The pursuit of perfection will crush you if you don’t add a huge dose of grace in the mix – and that was something I lacked. I had grace for everyone else except myself – the recipe for internal disaster.

When you trip over you have two choices – stay down in the muck on the ground or get back up, dust off your grazed knees, and take another step forward. 

I remember joking with Rick one day when we were lounge-hunting and we were about to walk through the doors of A Mart.  I was talking about how I was the Uptown Girl because it was one of my favourite songs – and as I said Girl I tripped over my feet & stumbled into the store – definitely not very sophisticated!   He still occasionally calls me his Uptown Girl - & we have a good laugh.

Learning to be uniquely, beautifully you is embracing everything about you (good, bad & ugly) and accepting you for you.  It is laughing at the crazy moments and knowing it is only through Him that we find perfection.  Without His grace we don’t stand a chance.  

Without Him and his unswerving, unwavering grace that overlooks my worst ‘bad & ugly” I wouldn’t be able to get up again, but I know He promises that if I just do what He asks (get up) then He will make the way clear for me to move forward again – and again.

There’s a verse that I love that echo’s this principle of getting up.  It’s pretty self-explanatory.

Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up.    Prov 24:16

Whatever you do – get back up again.  Don’t forfeit the race of life. 

The most devastating decision anyone can make is to disqualify themselves from the race.  Some are more competitive and race faster, & some have turned their race into a graceful waltz, but whatever beat you dance to just keep moving forward.  If you trip over your feet (and we all do) don’t be the one to decide you have destroyed all your chances.

Life isn’t a game where the dice is rolled and your fate, or your value, is forever determined by another hand. God has the ultimate say when it comes to His creation.  You are His child – a Kings Kid – and that’s how you will forever be seen in your Creators eyes.

Just stay in the race.

And if you’re anything like me – when you trip over, whatever that trip looks like – decide now that you will always get up again, and again and again.

More than seven times.

Not that we are sufficiently qualified in ourselves to claim anything as coming from us, but our sufficiency and qualifications come from God.     2Cor 3:5